The Stress of Not Knowing If He’s Mr Right – Dating Anxiety

Dating can be stressful and anxiety provoking  in a number of ways. Some people fear dating to the point that is a social phobia, that is they have an extreme fear of being negatively judged or evaluated so they avoid dating altogether or only go on dates if they have had a few drinks to calm their nerves.

However, other people have no difficulty with the dating process other than worrying whether their partner is Mr/Ms Right.  This worry may be justified and within normal limits, however some people suffer from generalized anxiety and consider their worrying to be, excessive,  uncontrollable and impacting upon their physical and psychological well-being.

There are a number of self help books on the market which may be of assistance to people who do not know whether they are dating the right person. ‘Are You the One for Me, Finding Who’s Right and Avoiding Who’s Wrong’, by psychologist Barbara De Angelis, is a helpful book which looks at various factors required for relationship compatibility and provides a helpful checklist.
‘Is He Mr Right’ by Mira Kirshsenbaum is another book which may help to clarify issue for people who are wondering  they feel enough attraction to their partner. She  stresses the need for compatibility AND chemistry.  A  successful long term relationship needs both compatibility and chemistry, but is often very difficult to find someone who meets a pass grade on both factors and is interested in you.

Clinical psychologist Catherine Madigan can help you explore whether  your anxiety about your relationship is justified in terms of a deficit/s in compatibility and/or chemistry or whether  you are excessively worrying and need some worry control skills.
Please call 0429 88 3671 or 9819 3671

1 Comment

  1. Sam

    I ‘have read both books and found both of them to be really helpful. I was dating a great guy but felt stressed to the point I was irritable, snapping at everyone, and at times my throat was tight and I had chest pain. Once I ended the relationship I felt much more relaxed and my anxiety symptoms evaporated.

    Reading ‘Is He Mr Right’ helped stiffen my resolve to break off the relationship’, as I realised although our compatibility was excellent on many levels there just was not enough chemistry in terms of having a similar sense of humour. I needed someone more light hearted and playful.

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